Trifle Pudding

Many a side
to my personality
all bona fide
it’s tough to know me

Different plains of existence
many layers,
some layers of clowning, some of penitence

Some see just one side,
(to many, I show just one)
the rest I hide;
hate to hear their snide...

To the jester i become the jesting
to the argumentative I am an adversary

Mind games that people play
into them I'm drawn,
Characters they mould me in; like wet clay
within them I’m caged...

'cause you don't know me completely
I'm forced to be one way...
I'm obsessed with the character- and
with my mind you play;

toying with my notion of self
sometimes my ego feels like an elf;
pricking my ego balloon - but sucker,
this one’s made of leather!

I'm caged; I'm chained
to these roles, these notions
maybe I’m trying to make you happy
but I’m sick with this confusion

I'm not, just the clown
or the just the fool
or just the nerd, or just the cynic
I'm more, I'm more

I'm screaming from the city's heights
but you think it’s just parts of a schizo;
in their regular fights

I'm done with all of you.
My weakness I did bare before you all
but my strengths you didn't see
and now when I’m on the edge;
How dare you scream "Don't fall!"

- Adi